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Review: Until You by Penelope Douglas

***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+.

Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.

Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don’t care about anything or anyone.

Except Tatum.

I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn’t trust her or anyone else.

So I hurt her. I pushed her away.

But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her…they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.

But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.

Now, when I push, she pushes back.

My thoughts (Simona):

“I want to touch you,” I whispered against her lips. 
 “I want to feel what’s mine. What’s always been mine” 

I really don’t believe in fairytales, I don’t believe in “Romeo and Juliet’s love” in real life, because real life sucks sometimes and when we think about love, life has a cruel way to reveal our soul mate. Jared and Tate are really much alike and we found out this in “Bully” but “Until you” really makes us understand how love in real life could be. Jared has a really strong character, dominating Tate with his words and actions, but what Tate doesn’t know it’s that she has the power to dominate him back. Her escape, that year, in France, was the hell on earth for Jared who didn’t knew how to handle his rage and fury. He wanted her to be his, for him, to calm down the fire inside his body, but she wasn’t there and Jared searched other distractions as fighting for no particulary reasons and racing more often. His rage was under control but he couldn’t get the felling that he was looking for when he was bulling Tate.

    “It’s the moment when you know that you can have what you want if you’re only brave enough to say so. It’s a split second when everything can change, but you pussy out because you’re too afraid to risk the rejection.”

    One night, when Jax calls him from the hospital Jared finds out that his brother was hit again by the father of the family where he was in care. His blood rushes through his vains and he doesn’t see anything but revenge in front of his eyes. He rushes to the house where the incident happened and before starting a fight he wants Madoc to leave, but his best friend doesn’t want to, after Jared insists for some more minutes Madoc leaves, and Jared breaks into the house and beats the man who touched his brother. The police arrives and Jared it’s arrested. At the police station,Madoc waits for him among with Tate’s father who came there to help Jared. Because Jared mother decides to intern into a detox clinic, Jared was alone, but Mr. Tatum had other plans with Jared and he took care of him and controlled Jared as much as he could. Jared was on a crucial moment . But the fate smiles to him when Tate is returning home, and he wants to pick up a fight with her anytime.

Something that Jared misses is Tate’s change, she is more determined, more willing to fight back, so this is what she does. She fights back!

Jared is surprised but doesn’t want to back of and he tries by all means to bully her even more harsh than in the past, but guess what, the balance is in Tate’s favours, because Jared fellings for her are getting stronger. The jealousy reveals what Jared tried to hide so many years, his love for this girl, the love that started that day when he saw her from his bedroom window riding the bike. From that day, Jared’s heart had a owner, and that was Tate, but she didn’t know this unfortunatelly. She is willing to surrender her fellings that one day brought them together, for a new beginning among new guys. Exept that Jared doesn’t want to let her start out something new, he wants her! And if he will be smart as we know him, he will eventually get to her.

    “Now, I could go on about mommy didn’t love me and daddy hit me, but who doesn’t have a story, right?” I asked. “There are times when we can blame a situation on others, but we own our reactions to them. There comes a point where we are the ones responsible for our choices and excuses don’t carry weight anymore.”

Tate is not a easy person, she knows what Jared has done to her all this years and she couldn’t forgive him so easily, she doesn’t trust him anymore, and all the new fellings between them are consuming her. But one thing is certain, she wants him too, and she will be there to hear the story behind Jared’s behavior, and just then there story will start!

Jared is stubborne and he always gets what he wants. With Tate isn’t just a play it never was, so he is really aware that if he starts on this path with her, he will need to stay on this path until she will trust him again.

I really love the way Ms. Douglas writes, it’s really addicting, and the characters are real for me. Tate’s reaction was surprising for me because in some books girls would have been reacted different, forgiving the guy in few seconds. Tate is nothing compared to that, she is strong, rational, and she is not willing to jump in Jared arms so soon. She waits for some explanation, and this is what makes her real to me, her rational side.

My rating 5/5
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